I have realised in my later years of life, that I am quite selective with whom I share things, what I share and how much I expose of myself to others. This is neither right nor wrong, it is just the way it has been and seemed to be working well until recently. Let me share what came about when I didn’t want to share myself with a team member.
Early one Friday morning, a team member, Josh from a course I am doing, rang me. I decided to ignore the call, as for 7.30am is far too early to talk in the morning. His voicemail said that he was stuck in the homework and needed somebody to talk to and share his thoughts. I decided to not call him back.
I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and started thinking about a friend of mine, Sue who had been on a course the previous weekend. Sue was always saying that there wasn’t enough of her to share with her friends and that she didn’t particularly like to be in groups with strangers talking and having to share herself. I was thinking how is that way of being affecting her life.
Then it hit me, as the mirror reflection pointed back at myself and I realised that I was doing the same thing to Josh. I wasn’t sharing my time, I wasn’t sharing my listening for his problem, I was being Sparing with my Caring.
So I rang promptly rang him, knowing that I was going to have to help him through where he was stuck.
Josh spoke for about 5 minutes telling me about where he was stuck, then he asked me “how I was?” I said I was fine but had been thinking about my friend Sue who doesn’t share herself with people very much.
He very quickly asked me “where do I see that I do that in my life?”
Wow. That stopped in my tracks . I began to think and realised that I was doing that in most areas of my life. With my family, with new people I meet and with my team on the course. I didn’t always share what was going on for me.
Over the years, I had learnt to just deal with my issues and problems all by myself and never really went to somebody else to assist me in getting clarity on them. I had been hurt at school by some girls whom I trusted and made the decision then, that it was too painful to share all of myself.
There is a lovely saying “the mindset that got you into the problem, is not necessarily the mindset that will get you out of the problem”.
We looked at what was missing for me and that was being really connected with others. Sharing all sides for me, especially as I am a speaker. When you are a speaker, people want to hear where you have struggled, they want to know where you were vulnerable and how you pulled through it.
This is how we learn. Look at all films. They have a hero/heroine, a conflict, a climax and a wonderful conclusion, where the hero/heroine rules the day.
The same is true when you are sharing your stories from the stage. You have to take people on the emotional roller coaster journey with you. You need to be willing to be open and share yourself.
I realised that I was being selective with whom I shared things with and the power was really in just sharing, on and off the stage.
The funny thing was, it was I who was thinking that I was the one ringing to helped Josh. But in Josh’s unselfish sharing of his time and caring, he actually helped me.
I vowed that day, that I was going to share more with people, because that is how we learn about ourselves, and people will usually bring the learning back to themselves, to see how they would have reacted, thought or dealt with the situation.
Powerful speakers, share themselves and never come from the element of fear “what will people think”. By sharing you just might help somebody deal with a painful element of their life in a more empowering way. That’s where you get to make the difference. In the power of your Word.
Public speaking is a powerful platform in which you can make a difference in the world, so, don’t be “Sparing with your Sharing” and embrace the Power of Sharing.
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